The reality of hitting the dreaded 23. The last time i had a birthday with a 3 in it, i was 13 and that came with its own set of dramatic and emotional rules and difficulties. Turning 23 i am sick of drama, Alcohol doesn’t seem to agree with me and when it does i lie in bed filled with regret from a painful hangover. My body is getting more wobbly and less defined. As i hit the first section of my prime i reflect on my achievements and honestly i think i am doing okay. I look to the future, what will i accomplish, will i aspire to what i need and want and my answer is YES. why not? why should i allow doubt and worry to shadow my mind and consume my thoughts, yes somethings will take time and yes i know my life is moving into a different direction and i myself am changing and that is okay too. The things i was terrified off i am beginning to feel more comfortable around.
change is inevitable but if i am honest i am ready for a change. I am ready for many commitments into independence, marriage and motherhood. My mind and body are crying out for this new chapter and i could not feel more deeply ready for these steps to begin. Some people in my life are already here, past this point or no where near me its a strange move from adolescence and ‘normality’ to a different format of life, i used to be afraid of being the only one, on my own taking these steps but during my recent trip to Florida i had an epiphany, a moment of pure bliss and understanding that i knew i was now 100% ready. Maybe some of my viewers can relate and some are still yet to reach this stage but all i can say is i am ready to move forward, make strides and stop worrying about other peoples opinions and trust my gut.
Love from Macara
x x x